Casual filmgoers and overworked movie theater employees beware: the most obnoxious movie of the decade has struck cinemas and is currently dominating box offices.
It’s impossible to exist in the past decade without ever encountering “Minecraft.” For many, the game has been a core part of their childhoods and even continues to stay relevant as adults. Excluding the “Tetris” franchise and its multiple iterations, “Minecraft” still champions as the best-selling video game as of this review – being the first (and still the only) game to reach over 300 million units in sales, according to the BBC. Its presence is felt everywhere in American pop culture to an extent where it has become ingrained in our society. From Minecraft content creators, Minecraft memorabilia, Minecon and now, “A Minecraft Movie.”
Directed by Jared Hess, the film finally made its theatrical debut after being first announced in 2014. Understanding the appeal of ironic moviegoing raids starting from “Minions: The Rise of Gru” and the overlap with its target demographic, the film appeals to audiences not through being genuinely good, but through online meme culture. And it largely succeeds, but at a far greater cost imaginable.
“A Minecraft Movie” follows the stories of four eccentric characters struggling to get by in the town of Chuglass. There’s Garrett “The Garbage Man” Garrison (played by Jason Momoa), a video game champion in his prime turned local loser; Natalie and Henry (played by Emma Myers and Sebastian Hansen), two siblings struggling to get by after the passing of their mother; and Dawn (played by Danielle Brooks), Natalie’s sassy estate agent and neighbor.
All four of them cross paths after being led to a mysterious portal that sends them to the Overworld, a strange, cubed world of creative freedom. With the help of local inhabitant Steve (played by Jack Black), the five of them work together to protect the Overworld from an evil, anti-creativity “piglin” army to get back home.
Running at 101-minutes, the film attempts to squeeze its bloated narrative in a limited runtime by compromising the quality of its many character arcs for some good ol’ “Minecraftian” hijinks. It completely abandons actors Myers and Brooks in favor of the goofy misadventures Black, Momoa and Hansen partake in, wasting the talent of these performers.
But the movie can be enjoyable. Apart from bucketloads of fan service released in every corner of the film, it’s at its best when it’s purely a Jared Hess comedy. His unique, oddball style of humor seen in films “Napoleon Dynamite” and “Nacho Libre” excels with the five leads of the movie. All of them show a clear passion and appreciation for their work, which may be the only admirable quality of this film.
There’s a good reason this movie is titled “A Minecraft Movie” and not The “Minecraft Movie.” You don’t have to be the biggest fan of the game to realize this narrative has little to do with the core spirit of “Minecraft.” Although admittedly, apart from an abstract poem at the end of the game and a more narrative-based adaptation by developer Telltale, “Minecraft” never exactly had a definite storyline. It could instead be interpreted to whatever story and adventures the player had in their endless hours spent in its abstract world.
On the contrary, the film, while still understanding what makes “Minecraft” unique, doesn’t feel like using its brainpower to make something creative. It recycles the same stupid video-game movie premises of “Pixels” and “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” and applies it to “Minecraft.”
Except at least those movies attempted to do something with their premise. “A Minecraft Movie” just feels like an SNL sketch parodying the thing it’s based on in the worst way possible. It occasionally stops to send a message about celebrating creativity, but it never feels earnest. It’s treated like something slapped onto the movie like an afterthought to prevent it from being too stupid.
“A Minecraft Movie” isn’t aiming to be a genuinely great film, which is something people have just grown to accept at this point. What the movie is more interested in is how much buzz it can generate online, and it’s certainly working. Despite many surrendering any possibility of it genuinely being good, the movie has successfully reeled in audiences based on how ridiculous the entire thing looks.
What you get is truly the most obnoxious theatrical experience. It’s enough to obliterate the souls of Alamo Drafthouse cinemas and their strict, intolerant policies regarding talking and cell phone usage during a movie. Jumping, cheering, clapping, and phones flashing are non-stop throughout screenings of this movie.
You are presented with two options: Either your energy and adrenaline will be boosted by the exciting environment you’re in as you immerse yourself into it. Or, you’ll have the most exhausting time trying to enjoy a movie surrounded by the most obnoxious human behavior. As someone who found the movie too insufferable to bear, I accepted the more exciting option upon my second viewing.
But even that isn’t a good enough option to accept. Despite Hess’ open appreciation of this rowdy behavior, the film’s encouragement of ironic celebration sets a bad precedent. While it’s still possible to be respectful and goof around, there is a destructive chaos that could be provoked at even the slightest of initiation. Sure, it may be funny to throw popcorn and slushies across the theater during the now famous “chicken-jockey” scene. But it encourages a lack of etiquette and respect for others in a public space. And it’s never fun for the workers to clean up the apocalyptic aftermath.
And when you remove that overexcited, interactive space, you are left with the most lifeless chore of a movie to sit through. Who knew uninspired material isn’t fun or interesting at all? Especially without the many people around you openly making fun of it.
Having both polar opposite experiences of the same movie, one normal and the other anarchic, you can recognize how forced this movie is. Every second of “A Minecraft Movie” exists to be “memed” online and ironically enjoyed for how ridiculously bad it is. The film has found a way to corporatize cult cinema, wanting to copy the magic of midnight movies. But if one thing is certain, you can’t force campiness and expect to acquire the same appeal from the aesthetic.
It’s pathetic to watch this movie desperately pleading for your attention when it could’ve been rightfully given had it been genuinely good. The lack of faith the filmmakers had for this project is apparent, and quite disappointing.
For some people, they’ll totally rock with the pure brain-rot that “A Minecraft Movie” offers. That’s completely understandable. When viewed in a packed theater of overexcited fans, the experience can be quite intense, but incredibly fun–accepting the film for how ridiculous it is. Just as long as people are respectful of the space they’re in. You don’t need to make a mess to have fun.
But it feels insulting that the long-awaited film of such a beloved IP built on the foundation of creativity is nothing more than the complete antithesis of all it celebrates. There is no winning with “A Minecraft Movie.” Just losing and accepting.
2/5
