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Why Robocop is the answer to all of Detroit’s problems

Kitt Fresa, News Editor

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The city is falling apart, and the city government can’t seem to plug up any of the holes. Cops are scattered and have an average response time of about an hour. The fire department is the same way. Detroit is falling and no one has been there to pick up the pieces, until now. The Detroit PD have been reported to have created Robocop. The man, the myth, the legend has been forged. Twisted between steel and human tissue, Detroit has officially stuffed a half dead cop into a killer robot suit. The mayor has been quoted saying, “Well nothing else was really working, and we had only a few million left so we thought we’d try something outside the box.”

Robocop has been reported to be currently active in the streets of Detroit slaughtering an estimated 1,500 gang members in just the first hour within Detroit’s surrounding shady areas. No warrant is needed for the man who needs no sleep. Homicide in Detroit has been rising over the years with 2013 racking in an astonishing, 411 deaths. Murder is a depressingly easy crime to commit in Detroit with cops never being able to respond in time and murder cases rarely being solved. The local government of Detroit have obviously had enough and have put the hard working american’s tax dollars to real cause! Something with literal steel balls. Robocop.

“There were 298 murders and intentional homicides in Detroit in 2014, the lowest number in 47 years, according to statistics compiled by the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Detroit Police Department. That works out to a murder rate of 43.5 per 100,000 residents, which is almost 10 times the national average. The city’s overall rate of violent crime, including assault and robbery, was 1,989 per 100,000 residents, down from over 2,000 in 2013 but still more than five times the national average, which also has been falling for years.” This was part of an article Forbes wrote in late 2015, it shows that homicides in Detroit are going down but it’s not fast enough. It still ranks as one of the most dangerous cities in America. The ultimate goal for Detroit should be how to keep its people safe. Everything else can come second. Again this is where Robocop comes in, if criminals were finally in fear of the consequences of murder it would reopen the opportunity for Detroit to get back on its feet.

Robocop’s carnage wouldn’t end there. Within Detroit there are many gangs that he/she could hold off or even scare off. Such as The Almighty Vice Lord Nation, Black Mafia Family, Chaldean Mafia, Devil’s Disciples, The Flathead gang, Highwaymen Motorcycle Club, Outlaws Motorcycle, and Los Zetas . If Robocop could cut the head of the snake it’s possible that Detroit could explode with opportunity. Gangs have a lock on incoming opportunity because of how unsafe they make Detroit. Nobody wants their morning commute to be through the morning gang war. Robocop could end it all for the gangs and begin again for Detroit.

Now that’s exactly what’s happening. For the moment, Detroit’s murder rate has skyrocketed, but only because of Robocop’s killing. As soon as he exterminates the rest of the scum, Detroit will fall gently back into a peaceful place just like Chicago. In 1950 Detroit’s population peaked at 1.86 million people, now it has fallen to what it was in 1910 which is about 700,000 residents. This low population spread out over a large area like Detroit is to be expected since Detroit’s job market is getting smaller and smaller which in turn is lowering the population even more. If there aren’t any new jobs in Detroit the population will continue to fall. This is the beginning of how Detroit really could make a comeback. People don’t want to come to Detroit not only for the lack in jobs and money but for the lack of safety, which there is hardly any of. So not only would Robocop open opportunities for better law enforcement, he/she could give people a piece of mind that Detroit was a city that’s safe again, thus the population would increase which is something Detroit desperately needs.

Robocop really is the answer to all of Detroit’s problems because he opens opportunity for the city to do its job instead of being forced to live in the shadows of a once great city. If Robocop is created it won’t come without its flaws and drawbacks, but the cost of developing and maintaining Robocop is definitely worth the cost of freeing Detroit once again to become the city it once was. Detroit is one the greatest and most important cities in America, yet the government seems powerless to bring it back. However if Robocop is made he can bring Detroit back and protect it from further danger by killing gang members with extreme prejudice.

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College of DuPage's student newspaper | Est. 1967
Why Robocop is the answer to all of Detroit’s problems