The Top 10 Worst Sports Mascots

Miguel Contreras III, Sports Editor

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Everyone can appreciate a great mascot. From The Chicago Bulls’ Benny the Bull making reverse half court shots to Phillie Phanatic elevating the intrigue into an intense ball game, or the slew of university mascots roaming their campuses.

However, some mascots are admittedly less… “standard.” Instead, these mascots stand out because of their less than conventional appearance, which borders on being just downright egregious. Here’s a look at 10 of the most interesting mascots from around American sports, voted upon by 50 members of the College of Dupage community randomly selected while traveling the halls outside the Courier newsroom.

 

#1 King Baby Cake-

As though foretold by his name itself, King Baby Cake takes the cake and wears the crown of the worst of the worst. Few would expect King Baby Cake to be a mascot for more than this season’s most popular haunted house or a demented ‘Babies “R” Us’. So learning that he shares the court with the likes of Pierre the Pelican with the New Orleans Pelicans is befuddling, to say the least. If he’s not successful in pumping up the fans, at the very least he’ll steal the soul of any visiting player who looks into his cold unyielding gaze for too long.

 

#2 Stanford Tree-

The Stanford Tree has a somewhat short and less than an illustrious career with the institution. In the meantime, an institution as reputable and wealthy as Stanford will continue to have a fourth-grade art project come to life bumbling about its campus.

 

#3 Fighting Okra-

Nope, it’s not a wrinkled sleeping bag or a giant deflated whoopie cushion. He’s an Okra, and they’ll hit you with a knock out punch if you have anything different to say about it. For those of you who don’t know, an Okra is a plant with edible green seed pods often used in soups and stews. They’re probably not going to frighten anyone short of an 8-year-old looking to escape her vegetables, but it would certainly be disheartening to lose to an Okra in any sporting event.

 

#4 Banana Slug-

The Banana Slug starts the slide down the slippery slope of: “What exactly am I looking at?” The University of California Santa Cruz mascot could easily be mistaken for a plush martian invading the western campus. Even after mustering the courage to approach the strange being a couple new questions might come to mind: “Why did I come to a new university with a slug as its mascot, and why is it wearing a skirt?”

 

#5 Cobi-

Cobi comes in as the senior mascot on this list, but also the mascot with potentially the greatest venue. Cobi was featured in the 1992 Olympic Games. Allowing his undefined but supposedly animal and inflatable features to be broadcast to confused and/or adoring fans worldwide. Whatever you think of Cobi, just like every other Olympian at the competition, he didn’t get to where he did without hard work and dedication!

 

#6 Mr. Red Legs-

The Cincinnati Reds’ Mr. Red Legs is better known as Mr. Met’s less popular cousin, featuring an overgrown mustache and eyes that might make you question what was in the condiments of the last stadium hotdog  he ate. Mr. Red Legs is his own separate entity and one gargantuan bipedal baseball man can be just as happy and beloved as the next.

 

#7 Sausages-

Racial diversity or slandering? That’s really for you to decide. In either case, it’s difficult to escape the ridiculous humor of culturally dressed sausages jockeying for position as they race each other around the Milwaukee Brewers’ baseball diamond and bounce off of each other. Hopefully, regardless of whether or not people raise an eyebrow at these suspect sausages, they’re still able to get a laugh out of it.

 

#8 Burnie-

When you learn Burnie is the mascot for the Miami Heat his nose goes from unacceptable to endearing. Of course, it’s not the right color, and the lines are in the wrong places, but he’s trying his best, and that’s what matters. Besides, his appropriately firey hair matches the aesthetic of the Miami Heat uniform he’s repping every game he attends.

 

#9 Steely-

Steely would probably take the cake for mascot’s strongest jawline. Even so, the Pittsburgh Steelers’ mascot amounts to a steelworker jovially carry about his beam in an effort to rile up his team’s fans. There would seem to be a bit of disconnect there, but at least he symbolizes hard work, grit, elbow grease and wears a smile while doing it. Ya know, for the kids.

 

#10 Ragnar-

Hailing from the Minnesota Vikings, Ragnar sits atop the list with what’s more of a quality Halloween costume than it is true mascot getup. Even so, there’s a certain novelty of a marauding conqueror with the historic vigor of a Viking wheeling onto a football field on a police motorcycle. Nothing really says Sunday night football like the stereotypical epitome of bloodthirst, pillage and plunder. Right?   

 

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